identity

Mother. Student. Worker. Female. Survivor. Independent. Believer. These are all just a few ways I can identify myself. Years ago, I struggled in finding my identity. Failure. Fat. Worthless. Junkie. Victim. Stupid. Ugly. These are the ways that I identified myself for years. I had found myself broken and lost. I was weak and did […]

Truth About Recovery

Personally, my eating disorder started around the age of 10. I have distinct memories of having the ability of eating a large pizza by myself. Dad and I having dinner at McDonald’s and we put our French fries together on the tray. Before eating my chicken nuggets, I frantically ate my fries as I didn’t […]

Recovery

I was asked by a fellow grad classmate the other week, “do you think it’s possible to be fully recovered?” My immediate response, “with…….”. She asks, “trauma and eating disorder primarily”. I had to pause for far too long. I have had more traumas in my life than I care to fully admit, I guess. […]

Time

It is time for me to start blogging again. It used to be so therapeutic for me and I’ve missed it horribly. These blogs will be pieces that will be utilized for my future book. I had imported my blogs from before sobriety so there is quite a bit of raw material that I would […]

may 28th…

May 28, 2010…… We picked up Hunter in Pawnee about 6:45. We took him to eat at Texas Road House, left about 8:15. Then took him to the new house. We got home about 8:30-8:45. We played outside with Sarah. She jumped up to lick his face and her teeth grazed Hunter’s cheek. I took […]

Enough

I am not a number. I am not a size. I am not a body. I have a number. I have a size. I have a body. My value is in so much more than any of those things and more. I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I […]

February 1, 2007

9 years ago. 3287 days. February 1, 2007 I started my day coming out of a haze of drugs. I was lost. Empty. Hopeless. Numb. Worthless. I had spent the past few years fooling people into thinking I had this happy and wonderful life. I was always so outgoing and happy towards everyone. But what people […]